Precious Memories

Dude, I wrote this back in December. It's still one of my favorite stories. This is completely true.

When we were in high school my friend and I went to a club to watch our friend’s band play. I think it was some crappy 16 and up place called the Cactus Club. I don’t remember anything about it, or even if we went in, but I do know that finding parking was really tough, and we ended up parking in some lot surrounded by a chain link fence. After we left the club, we walked back to the car, and we found that the fence had been locked on our side. We could either walk around the block to the other opening (not a good idea in downtown at night), or we could just hop the fence where we were. Like we always do, we chose the quickest way, and I hopped the fence first.

I turned around to see my friend lose his balance on the top of the fence and tumble over to my side. As he fell, his shoelace got caught on the top link of the fence and he ended up hanging upside down! I had never seen anything so ridiculous, and I immediately fell over laughing as he would crunch up and try to free his shoe. The contrast of how angry he looked and how ridiculous his position just about killed me.

One of his problems was that all of his weight was on that one point of contact, and he didn’t have enough endurance in his stomach to stay crunched up long enough to free himself, so eventually he'd give up and hang there for a second, catching his breath. Another was that his best friend was too busy laughing to help him down. I swear, I would have, but I couldn't move. It was brutal.

The sad thing is, that nobody would have noticed him if my laughter hadn’t drawn a crowd. Watching his attempts and failures was just too much for me. The sight of him hanging upside down to rest was leaving me in hysterical fits on the ground. I was laughing so hard, I thought I was going to throw up, and people across the street stopped and looked to see what was going on. You know that laugh where it sounds more like heaving, because you can't breath at all? That was me. Times ten. I think it was more traumatic for me than it was for him. It hurts to laugh that hard.

I just about had to crawl over there, but eventually I gathered myself enough to pick my friend up and get his lace freed up so we could enjoy the angry/hilarious drive home. Good times.

Sorry Matt.

Not really, though.