I've been thinking about...you guessed it. Did the title give away too much? I'm feeling very Office Space lately.
Well, since you know where we're ending up, I might as well get started. No, I haven't gotten fired just yet. I am however, planning on the best way to "get 'er done", as our obese cable tech would say.
Work just seems to go by faster if you're thinking of ways to get fired. In a job where I get to see customer service interactions on a daily basis, I get to fantasize about ways to find myself "released". Here are a couple that I've always wanted to be a part of.
At banks, you always have customers asking why their accounts are overdrawn, but I never hear the tellers state the obvious-"Because you spend more than you earn, Mr. So-and-so."
I'd personally prefer to speculate loudly about what they purchased to the other customers in line...look over the statement and announce that "Maybe if you'd curb your spending on adult diapers and Seagram's gin, you may be able to live within your means."
I'd also like to see more employees roll their sleeves up and invite angry customers to "step outside" for a second.
Once, when a customer complained about the ATM being down I cracked my knuckles and offered to take him into the back room and explain the problem to him. I wasn't aware that he was a VP at the bank I was servicing. Oops.
What I've always really wanted though, was to get into a huge fight behind the counter of a bank. I work with a partner, and on my last day, I would love to pick a fight with him at a bank when it's full of customers...just walk in arguing while we balance the machine, then have it escalate into a full-on melee-throwing each other over desks, knocking over everything, last-man-standing wins. Downside-that might end with some jail time.
Anybody have any better ideas? Anybody ever get fired?
5 comments:
PLEASE tell me that Halleck would be the one you'd pick a fight with. Awesome. I'd pay good money to see that. And be laughing my butt off the whole time.
At Dutch Bros: Leave all windows and doors open when you leave at night, hit on coworkers' moms, steal, close 45 minutes early and sit inside in a drug-induced stupor. Those were all just the people fired since I hired on in February. We only have four employees now, besides a few the come over from the other stand to fill in occasionally. I call it Survivor: Dutch Bros Island. I like my chances, too.
Ok, I have that same fantisy my self. (the one about getting into an all our fight.) Mine would be in a random clothing store. just hucking your "friend" into whatever. It would fancy me so...
Billy, I see your picture of yourself in the Man-Bag sleeping bag.
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