I used to tease vegetarians that I knew by saying not only did I eat meat, but I wanted to eat the last of something. I didn't mean it, of course, but his little joke evolved over years into a tirade about success, culminating in an awkward moment while I was on jury duty a few years ago. While we were on a break, the 12 of us sat out in the hallway of the court, when I found out that one of my fellow jurors was a vegetarian.

We discussed cooking for a bit, then I mentioned that I was a fan of eating meat. In fact...

"I'll know that I've become a success when I can afford to eat the last of a species. Something BIG, too. It doesn't mean anything if you catch the last of some kind of bird in a net, that can be chalked up to luck, you know?"

As I spoke my voice started to rise...

"I want to eat the last blue whale in existence...that would take a whole fleet of boats, explosive harpoons, the whole deal. Just track that sucker down, blow it up, and tear off a chunk before it sinks! Then I'll know I've made it in life!"

By then I was standing up, making hand motions and everything. When I finished, I noticed that 11 people were either staring at me, horrified, or doing everything in their power to avoid eye contact.

Anyway, looks like this came true (sort of):

World’s Rarest Shark Caught, Eaten. Yum

This reminds me of that episode of Northern Exposure where Walt finds a Wooly Mammoth corpse and barbecues it. The 41^st Megamouth shark ever documented was caught off the coast of the Philippines at the end of March where it died in a fisherman’s net. It was rolled back into town where 1,100 pound, 13-foot long fish was butchered and eaten. Awesome. A friend once drank 200-year-old cognac, but that’s nothing compared to some deep fried Megamouth Shark Bits.

via Treehugger

By
Rocky Thompson